So you say you want to lose some weight: maybe 5 pounds, maybe 15. But is weight as a number really the only thing that matters? Of course not! Weight loss is not only about the numbers on the scale; it’s about looking and feeling good. Dropping pounds in a healthy, effective way involves a lot more than fasting for a day to see a couple of pounds disappear from the scale’s reading.

You don’t just want to lose weight. You want to lose fat. And the best way to accomplish that goal is (surprise, surprise) through a combination of a reduced calorie diet and exercise. If it’s that simple, then why is it so difficult to get the results you want? Here are a few tips for weight loss that will help you on your way to the leaner body you’ve been wishing for.

Tips for Weight Loss #1: Be Realistic

Weight loss is a process—a lifestyle change, really—not an overnight event. 2 pounds per week is a healthy rate for weight loss. If you’re just starting a new diet or exercise program, you may initially see more rapid results. Occasionally, you might lose less or even show a slight gain in weight. But if you want health and consistency, this is a good average to shoot for.

Being honest and realistic with yourself also means acknowledging that weight loss requires sacrifices. If you want to lose weight, you may have to give up having desert every night, or eating steak multiple times a week. If you’re not willing to make those sacrifices now, then maybe it’s not the time to begin trying to lose weight.

Tips for Weight Loss #2: Set Goals

Is your goal to look good in a tank top or swimsuit next summer, or to be able to keep up with your kids outside? Whatever your personal reason for wanting to lose weight, it can be an excellent motivator. But sometimes the ultimate goal seems so distant that we are overwhelmed by the mere thought of all of the time and effort it will take to get there. It’s important to set interim goals—stepping stones that are more immediately attained—on the way to the big one. The feeling of making progress will keep you motivated and headed in the right direction.

Tips for Weight Loss #3: Do NOT Let the Scale Own You

If you’re really ready to lose fat and become a leaner, more healthy version of yourself, you cannot let a scale dictate the way you feel about your body. Commit to weighing yourself only once a week, ands stick to that. In the interim, focus on finding gratification in other places: prepare and enjoying a healthy, well-balanced meal, or have a fantastic workout at the gym. Lifting a heavier dumbbell, doing one more push up than last time, or finishing a mile with a faster time than yesterday can all be extremely gratifying; much more so, in fact, than simply looking at your feet and seeing a slightly smaller number on the scale.

Tips for Weight Loss #4: “Moderation in Everything, Including Moderation”

Sometimes it’s ok to splurge. Everyone likes to go out to dinner and get exactly what will taste the best (not what will have the fewest calories), or have desert to celebrate a special occasion. But make these splurges the exception: not the rule. Ice cream really does taste better if you don’t get it every day. And it tastes best of all on the beach, in that tank top or bathing suit you’ve been saving for just such an occasion.

In my personal experience with weight loss, the results have always been most drastic when I start working out again after some time off, or when I add something new to my routine. As with any change in weight, exercise and diet play equally significant roles. Therefore to shed pounds at a healthy rate—and keep them off—we need to focus on both factors.

Tips for Quick Weight Loss: Diet

For anyone who may have forgotten, we’ll start with a quick recap of what we should be taking in under normal circumstances:

-Carbohydrates should make up about 60% of our daily caloric intake. The more complex carbs you eat, the better. (Think brown and whole grain foods, rather than white ones.)

-Protein should account for 10-20% of our daily intake. (On the higher end if we’re looking to build muscle mass.)

-Fats should be 20-30% of our daily intake. However, it’s important to remember that the kind of fats our bodies need are not processed, saturated fats, but those that occur naturally in foods like nuts, fish, or vegetable oils.

Though many labels on packaged foods compare calories and other nutritional information to a 2,000 calorie per day diet, this daily allowance is on the high end of what most Americans need. Talk to your doctor or a nutritionist to create a personal plan that will work for you.

Tips for Quick Weight Loss: Exercise
If you’re not exercising at all, start. It’s as simple as that. And don’t be afraid to challenge yourself: it will get easier. When I first began a cardio workout regimen, I could only last 5 minutes at a time on the Stairmaster. Then I had to take a break.

General health and fitness guidelines state that we should all be physically active for at least 30 minutes, 5 days per week. If you already do this and you’re looking to lose weight, try adding a little time to your cardio routine or working in regular resistance training. (Resistance training will actually increase your metabolism, meaning that your body will burn more calories all the time; not only when you’re working out.

If you can’t afford more at the gym, try upping the intensity of your exercises. Running faster or power walking, even for short intervals of your regular workout will have positive effects on heart and lung health, as well as burning more calories than a slower-paced workout for the same amount of time.

If it’s tips for quick weight loss you’re looking for, here’s my advice:

1) Drink lots of water (always). Often our bodies mistake thirst for hunger, and we take in unnecessary calories as a result. Herbal tea can help you feel full and cut the desire to eat at night.

2) Decrease your calorie intake a little. Remember: cutting too many calories will actually slow down your metabolism. Something as simple as skipping desert or second helpings can work wonders.

3) Exercise. Then exercise more. Increase time, intensity, or both to burn more calories, and watch those extra pounds go away and stay away.

As somewhat of a miracle diet skeptic, I have never put much stock in any fad diet or pill that promises rapid weight loss with a minimum of effort. For the most part I believe that if something seems too good to be true (like losing 30 pounds in 15 days), it probably is. What’s more, it’s probably not very good for your body. But since the market for rapid weight loss diets and supplements is a huge one, I decided to do a little research and find out what sorts of options are out there today. And will any of them really yield results?

-Liquids, shakes, and VLCDs (very low calorie diets): Most of these allow dieters about half of a normal calorie intake per day. One VCLD I found limits you to 900 calories per day, to be consumed in the form of 3-5 liquid shakes. The rule is that dieters are allowed to substitute 2 of the daily shakes with small “meals” (the calorie equivalent of a scoop of peanut butter, a slice of bread and an orange wedge, or a couple of pieces of fruit). These diets often take place in supervised, isolated settings and are quite pricey. They can be effective, but eventually every dieter has to test his or her will power in the real world.

-Detox/ Cleansing diets: Essentially a recipe for starvation, often accompanied by an enema or colon cleansing, these types of diets can undoubtedly lead to weight loss. Just be aware of what’s going to happen when you return to the habit of consuming something besides water and lemon juice. A detox or cleanse may be a good way to jump start your healthy lifestyle change (if you really get motivated by the dramatic), but in itself it is neither a valid weight loss program, nor a healthy lifestyle solution.

Low Carb Diets: Just when one version of this one seems to be disappearing from mainstream media, another one pops up and I cringe all over again. The Atkins and South Beach diets are 2 of the best-recognized names for these high protein, low carb systems, but there are many more out there. Basically the theory is that carbohydrates and proteins together form fat in your body, so if you cut out one of these, you’ll stop making fat. I can’t help it though: it just seems inherently wrong to follow a weight loss program that lets you eat eggs, bacon, steak, and butter, but no whole grain bread or fruit. If you need a quick result program to jump start you on the road to healthier living, then maybe a week without carbs will work. But this is not a long term weight control solution, and its side effects include dramatically increased chances of hypertension and heart disease, among others.

The moral of the story is simple, if unwelcome: rapid weight loss diets simply aren’t a solution if your goal is to cut fat and live a healthier lifestyle. Most rapid weight loss diets come with very real risks like dehydration and malnutrition, and uncomfortable (and not so healthy) side effects like headaches and dizziness.

The most effective way to lose weight is not rapid, and it doesn’t allow you to cover all of your meals with bacon grease. It’s a healthy diet—reduced in caloric content from what you’re eating now—rich in whole grains, lean meats, fruits, and fresh vegetables. It’s a lifestyle that not only accommodates but promotes physical activity; one where exercise is a part of every day. If you need a kick start to healthy living, talk to a health care professional about whether a rapid weight loss diet might be appropriate for a week or so, but put your real effort into understanding healthy eating and exercise. You’ll look better and feel better, and you’ll finally be in complete control of your body.